Posts Tagged ‘family’

What do you suppose I do with this??

I’ll tell ya what I didn’t do…. I didn’t say no!

That’s right… this sweet faced kitty now resides in our home…

Or more precisely, in our bed…

She has made herself at home rather quickly.

Translation: She has made herself Queen of this Castle in less than 24 hours.

But would you look at that irresistible smile?

Seriously… she is smiling, right?

Meet Pixie.

Smiling, swinging from my camera strap, bed hog Pixie.

We love her.

N and I are finally in our own place. We are working out something of a routine, but we’re still adjusting. It’s very different just being him and I, but it’s already a huge improvement in our lives. I’m not sure how long we’ll stay in this place, it’s a very tiny one bedroom duplex. My sister is in the other side, so that’s nice. And it’s a s great neighborhood, on a dead end road. Very peaceful here – I like that. But we just don’t have room. I am hoping to qualify for some housing assistance, and then maybe we can afford something larger. Nothing too fancy, but 2 bedrooms would be nice! However, I’m grateful to have what we have now. So very grateful! I feel as if I’m finally able to grasp at the strands of sanity, and maybe even hold onto a few…

The only thing I hate is being single. I hate that I hate being single. What’s wrong with me? I want so badly to love this time in my life, and enjoy it, but I just do.not.do.single.well. And I really, really want to… I am trying very hard to focus on me and N and fill my time with things that we like, things that make us smile and laugh, with high hopes that I will rediscover myself and be the best mother that I can be to N…. I realize full and well that being single is the equivalent of being alone.. it’s just that i feel so alone… if that makes any sense.

I think I am single for a reason…. I’m not sure what that reason is exactly, but it feels like something good is in store for me and N… I just have to be patient, and wait for what’s right. You just don’t know how hard that is for me, because if I had it my way I’d run as fast as I could in the wrong direction with the first Mr. Wrong that made me laugh for a minute…

I need help. I may have mental issues.

My boy, N just celebrated his 7th birthday. Hard to believe my baby is 7 years old… I can’t seem to get enough hugs and kisses in lately, because I know that it will come to an end all too soon… He’s such a good boy. And he sure does love his Mom I am very blessed.

It wasn’t a big party, like usual… it was my first “single mom” birthday party for him. I didn’t want it to show, I wanted everything to carry on as it always has, but that wasn’t the case. There were a few things that weren’t quite right – not what he/we are used to doing/having at his parties.

But, were survived it. We’re troopers! No thanks to his father, who said we would split the cost 50/50 for decorations, food, and gifts… then bailed out on me a week before N’s birthday. I had to postpone the party another week so I could get another paycheck to cover HIS half that he bailed on. Yeah, I was a little pissed.

But here’s the kicker… he said he would just have cake and ice cream for N at his house, and get him whatever he could afford to get him…. then 3 days before N’s party, he says to me “Why haven’t I gotten an invitaion to N’s birthday party?“

I’m sorry – WHAT?! Did I hear that correctly? Once I was able to compose myself after falling out in a fit of laughter I said, quite calmly… “Because you’re not fucking invited….“– I mean, was I wrong to NOT invite the selfish pig?

What kind of moron bails on a birthday party to have his own lame ass cake with his son, but then wants to swoop in and play a role in a party that *I ALONE* busted MY ass on! My ex-husband, that’s who. See why he’s my ex? Oh, just one of many, many reasons… dirtbag.

Then of course, in true ex-dirtbag fashion, he tried to sabatage the party by delivering N home just 45 minutes before the party was scheduled to start. That’s the closest I think I would have ever come to punching that sorry bastard in the face with everything I have, had he made my son miss his birthday party. I wanted to do it anyway. In a bad, badass kind of way!

Once all of that crappola drama he drags around with his Eeyore self ended, we were able to carry on with the party… it was small. No kids from his class came, which was a little disappointing for him I think, but his bestest friends showed up and that was all that mattered. And his WHOLE family (read: MY side of the family) was there. He was a happy kid, that had a great 7th birthday. He wasn’t even aware of all of his father’s antics, and I like to keep it that way.

He got his long awaited Nintendo DS, and I think he was pleased with it. And overall, aside from all of the chaos that I thought would destroy the whole party, it turned out quite well. N was happy, and really, what else matters?

I was tagged over at The Dish & The Spoon to name 7 random/weird things about myself. There are SO many more than 7, let me see if I can narrow this down…

1. The clothes in my closet (and consequently, my son’s) are arranged from light to dark, and separated in sections (ie: short sleeve, no collar; short sleeve w/collar; short sleeve button up; etc.) I can’t help it, and would rather NOT put the clothes away if I don’t have the time to organize them properly.
2. On the subject of clothing, all underwear gets folded. Yes, folded.
3. My movies are all stored in alphabetical order.
4. I like to make tea as soon as I turn off the pot of boiling water. If someone cuts it off without telling me, I have to start over.
5. There is no such thing as disinfecting too much. This includes counters, hands, you name it.
6. My mom tried to get my grandparents to adopt me when my dad left, when I was 2.
7. Little things, such as a paper cut, stubbing my toe, or hitting my funny bone send me over the edge and into a drama filled frenzy of “ooh ouch ouch aaah, oh my gawd, ouch, ouch” – but big things, like having c-sections, or breaking an arm, or having a chemical peel, getting things pierced or getting tattoos are just fine by me.

Whew. Survived it! Now I am supposed to tag 7 other blogs that I read. This could be difficult, but let’s see what I have for you…

1. See Kori Rant
2. Charming & Delightful
3. Looky, Daddy!
4. Quiet Life
5. Motherhood Uncensored
6. a bright future
7. It’s All About Balance

Today’s conversation with N….

Me: I love you, baby.

N: I love you to mom. And listen, you can call me baby now but when I’m all grown up, can you not call me baby anymore? Because I won’t be one…

Me: *hmph* Well… I don’t care how old you are, or how grown up you are, you’ll always be my baby…

N: Ok look mom, just don’t embarass me with all that baby stuff. That’s all I’m tryin’ to say, alright?

Me: Okay. So can I call you sugar-booger instead?

N: Mom! I said do not embarrass me. You can’t say things like that in front of my friends at school. Do you understand?

Me: … but… but… you are my baby… and my sugar-booger…..

N: Okay mom, how about if you just call me those thing when it’s just me and you. If I let you do that, will you promise not to embarrass me when I’m a teenager in high school?

Me: *snicker* Why, certainly!

Yesterday was a good day. When I got to my friends house, there were a few people there I knew, and a few I didn’t. There was a guy on the sofa that didn’t turn around, so I just assumed I didn’t know him – but it could have been because I walked in and the game was already on. After I got situated, N went out back to play with the oodles of boys that were there to play with (he was in heaven!) the guy on the sofa turned and looked over his shoulder, and we both did a double take. It was Tommy, a guy I have known forever and haven’t seen in forever. What a nice surprise!

He just had a baby with a girl I used to be very good friends with, and she came later on with the baby who is just 2 weeks old. Oh, I fell in love with him. It’s rare that I even hold a baby when they are that tiny, or at all lately because it just breaks my heart to know what I missed out on with the babies I lost.

…But I just had to get my hands on him, and when I smelled how delicious he he was, well… my ovaries woke up screaming and my womb ached for a baby. I know, call me crazy, but it’s the truth. I’m all kinds of alive and on fire on the inside!

.. and just a little over a month away from being divorced.

That’s me and Tommy and the baby (obviously) – we jokingly took this in front of the Christmas tree because , well – we found it funny LoL

What great timing my ovaries have, huh? Now I’m stuck with baby fever, and no man in sight. Just my luck!!

Oh well. It was great to see Tommy, and Wanda. I missed them both a lot over the years, they are great people. I’m glad they have a healthy (sweet, delicious, adorable) baby. Maybe in the next year or two…

Maybe.

Hopefully.