It’s Thankful Thursday, and this week I am thankful for snow.

Yes, snow.

Normally, I hate snow. When we lived in Virginia, I despised it because I was trapped at home, not knowing how to drive in it. But living in Louisiana (where snow is rare), it was a nice treat. It snowed here today!

It’s the first snow in 4 years. The last time it snowed was Christmas Day, 2004. N was two and a half, and it was my Grandpa’s last Christmas with us. We didn’t know it then, but it’s a sweet memory now.

This morning we were glued to the television, watching the pictures roll into the news channels as the snow got closer and closer to us. We were also watching the clock, wondering if the snow would get here before the bus came so they would call a snow day for our parish.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. N really wanted a snow day, but I kind of knew it wouldn’t last long (the snow, that is - it never does here) so I sent him packin’. He was happy that once it started sticking to the ground (just ever so little), they let the kids go out for a few minutes at school and enjoy the snow. Naturally, he wanted to stay out longer, but he was excited that he got to go in it at all.

Poor kid. The snow flurries started coming down, literally, as we saw the bus coming down the road (see the headlight in the background?). That was a tough moment to be his mom, because I wanted to say “forget it, stay home! snow day!”

I’m itching to redesign this site in a bad, bad way now… I’ve gone as far as to narrow my design choices down to 3 kits, all of which I already purchased. It’s not so much that I can’t decide which one to use, because the truth is that I like bits and pieces from each… it’s more so that I can’t quite figure out how I want the layout. So, I’ve been searching for inspiration and every time I think I find something that inspires me, I find something else completely opposite that inspires me just the same. Sometimes it’s sucks being so indecisive! Anyhow, here are the kits I have selected to use…

I don’t particularly have a favorite. I like that they all have black, though. I’m not sure what direction I will go with the design, I guess I will just see when I open all the files and start mixing it all up

I think I’m going to hit the town tomorrow night. I’m tired of being home and depressed. A couple people called tonight to see if I would come out, but I declined. One night, that’s it. I will not be a barfly. Not this week, anyway.

When we were at the church to see Santa this week, there was this couple in line ahead of us.. He placed his hand on the small of her back, and very gently, very subtly he nudged her in his direction. She instinctively followed his lead and moved in closer to him, and he very sweetly leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. It made something inside of me ache, and honestly, it made me want to cry.

Tomorrow, I’m meeting with my soon-to-be ex-husband at the mediator’s office to finish hashing out our divorce agreement so that we can get it signed, and filed. Then when January rolls around, there won’t be anything stopping the divorce from being finalized. It’s bittersweet.

My background music today,  Lisa Loeb - Falling In Love.

This Thankful Thursday, I’m thankful that my divorce is almost here, and almost over with. A year is a long time to wait. Especially when you have been ready to move on for SO long. I’m ready to see what life has to offer me after my divorce. Anxious, even. Excited, maybe. Definitely ready.

This Thursday, I am thankful for my family.

I don’t think I am thankful for them often enough, and they do so much for me. Including drive me completely insane. Seriously… nobody gets on my nerves more than my family. Except, well… maybe another day.

However, it’s obvious that they love me, and would do anything to help me and to protect me. I love them, too. And I am very protective of them, no matter how batty they make me. If I didn’t have them, who knows where I would be at, what I would have lost at this point in my life, or who I would even be. I don’t know how people survive without their family rallied around them. I’m very blessed to have always been surrounded by my family. And my son is very blessed to be being raised right smack in the middle of this big, sometimes crazy, always fiercely protective family of ours.

I can’t go on and on, because I get emotional… but I want to mention also, that today is the 3 year anniversary of the death of my Grandpa, lovingly known as Paw Bill. I miss him, terribly. Every single solitary day, I miss him. N misses him. I’m so thankful that he got to know him, and that he remembers him. I’m thankful for the closeness that they shared in the almost 4 short years that they had together. I’m thankful for my grandma, for always standing by her man, even when people thought she shouldn’t. If she hadn’t done that, we may have never seen the beauty and adoration for his family that lived inside of him.

I’m also very thankful that I was with him, right there at his bedside, sleeping with my head on his bed his last night here on Earth. It was difficult, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk away from him. I’m glad I stayed.

If I am going to post everyday, I have to have some sort of structure. From now on, I will have Thankful Thursdays, and Flickr Fridays. Let’s just see how that works out…

This Thursday is no different than any other day in my life - I’m thankful that I am N’s mom. So, so very thankful that it was me who was picked to be HIS mom. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love every single solitary second I get to spend with him.

This week has been absolute turmoil in my life.  My job has come crashing down on me with a force that is trying to knock me to my knees, but the real truth is it has been a blessing in disguise. I have missed most of my boy’s soccer games this season, so everything that has happened this week, I see now has been with much reason. This week has been full of his soccer tournament games… and I have missed so much, just in this short season. Maybe it just feels like a lot to me, because until I started this job, I missed NOTHING. Not a single moment of his life did I miss. Then, I had no choice, and it hurt.. gosh, it hurt so bad to not be there for everything. I realize it’s not always possible, but it was killing me inside.

However, this week I have been granted the week off (read that how you want, lol)… and do I care? No, not in the least. It hasn’t crossed my mind, or bothered me in the least… because you see, I have been at every game this week, and have been on the sidelines screaming and cheering (in typical Heather fashion) my boy on, and tonight they secured their spot in 2nd place. I am so proud of him, he is doing SO well and he loves it SO much - AND I GOT TO SEE IT ALL!! I’m very, very happy… and extremely thankful that the random events that led up to me being able to see my boys games this week happened, no matter what the consequence.

So, why am I taking this trip down memory lane with the pictures? I’m not sure. I love the kid he has become, but I can’t help but miss the baby that he was.. and also, be very thankful that I was granted the opportunity to stay home with him and never miss a moment. That is a blessing in and of itself. Nothing measures up to that.

One Hundred Years from now
It will not matter
what kind of car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
how much money was in my bank account
nor what my clothes looked like.
But the world may be a better place because
I was important in the life of a child.