This week at my son’s school is Drug Awareness Week. Mostly, for short, it’s called “Drug Free Week” - which is oddly unsettling, considering he’s in 1st grade and it’s an ELEMENTARY school. As if, for this week, no drugs for you first graders!! Aah… I wish he didn’t even have to learn about that crap, but I guess the reality of it is he DOES have to learn, because there are actual scumbags out there that realy WOULD try to get my 1st grader to use drugs. Asshats.

So anyway, for the week each day is a different theme. Today is his favorite theme - crazy sock day. Needless to say, being  a little boy his socks just don’t get too crazy. We won’t discuss his mama’s crazy sock collection, that’s entirely beside the point. So, he got a grey sock, and a white sock with red & blue stripes at the top. To him, that was crazy. He was very, very proud of his crazy sock selection. I’m just glad I didn’t have to send him off in any of mine….

Before school this morning, he lifted his pants to show Aimee his crazy socks, as he cracked up laughing. She asked why his socks didn’t match, it took her a minute to catch on (she had just woken up, in her defense). I made a comment about it being drug week at school… and… here’s the kicker…

N says….

“NO mom, it’s FREE DRUGS at school this week!!!”

(P.S. - It’s not that I don’t have anything to write about lately, it’s just that I’m being greedy! Sorry. I promise to start writing more regularly. I’ve also just been really busy. New guy, looking for a new job, very little sleep, etc, etc.)

F*** me dead I just got a bajillion whiny emails saying I have not updated this since Paris Hilton was in jail… You would not believe that my hands were chopped off and I was waiting for bionic ones. Apologies to my regular readers! Even the little blue ones!.

I am flat out like a lizard drinking with only your readership as life preserver, being distracted by the shiny things, just generally being Snow White to every Lost Boy that crosses my path, my day is fun and exciting from the first cockadoodledoo from the rooster till I run out of alcohol. I am putting money aside so I can run away. it will be fun fun fun till they take my TBird away.

I declare solemnly I will update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. You wanna test me? Unless of course the pool with the cocktail bar is heated!.

( I am not really crazy - this post was generated from this website. )

Last night, my incredibly funny son, my mother and I were sitting around watching a movie and having 27 conversations at the same time. If you have a kid, you get this. At some point in the conversation, the focus was on his loose teeth and I mentioned how half of the teeth in his mouth are loose, but he won’t pull them or let me pull them. I said something similar to “that one in the front is barely hanging by a thread”…. which set the wheels in motion for one of his funnier comments….

N began, rather dramatically, to describe WHY he could not pull that particular tooth. We tried to let him explain himself without laughing, but it gets difficult because he gets SO wrapped up in the story he is trying to tell. Before it all fell apart (read: we died laughing), his story went something like this:

“Look, I just can’t pull this tooth because it’s attached. It’s not just attached where you can see it, it’s way down in there, like a string, and it is NOT ready to come out yet. You just can’t see it..”

{increased frustration because we don’t understand what he is saying}

“Okay, listen. You can’t see how it’s still attached to my body like this… BUT, if you could turn me inside out, then you could see…”

I don’t know what he said after that, because once he said the words “inside out” my mother and I looked at each other and went into fits of convulsive laughter. I’m happy to report that N wasn’t as offended as he usually is when you laugh at him, he ended up getting a good laugh out of it too.

Inside out, though? Seriously? Where does he come up with this stuff!

{just because I love pictures of when he was a baby - that melon head and those ears melt my heart}