Archive for the ‘Day to Day’ Category

My son came home with an Easter egg shaped booklet that they made in school, and wrote stories in. The teacher gave them the plot, and they were to write their own story… I cracked up laughing when I was reading what N embellished the plot with… I love his imagination. Here are two of his stories, in all of their misspelling glory… (he gets straight A’s in Spelling, so I’m not sure what this is about, but it’s still pretty good for a 2nd grader)

“I woke up the day befor easter and I had turned into a Easter bunny. I hopped around and it was cool. But then things got strang. My mom came in my room. So I hid in my closet. She stepped out of my room. I stepped out of my closet. Then I jumped out my window. Then I layed eggs at the park.”

“One morning I saw peter cottontal walking down the street. A car headed for him. Then a grizly bear headed for him. They atacked him. But the light turned red.”

I know he’s only 8, but I sure do miss these days….

Everyone is pregnant around here… I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy and extremely maternal… my ovaries are alive, and screaming to procreate!!!

And, I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that I’m turning 35 29 at the end of this month…

Yesterday was N’s 8th Birthday… it’s also his weekend with his dad. That resulted in me already being in a depressed state prior to the phone call I received at 7:30am this morning…

A dear friend, someone I worked with every single day for over a year and shared many, many secrets with and spent many, many weekends on the river with passed away this morning in her sleep.

I’ve never lost anyone that I was close to that had yet to live their life completely, and my heart is broken. She was just 42. Cause of death is not yet known. She was a hard worker, an amazing confidante, a wonderful friend, and one of the best mothers I’ve ever known.

Rest in Peace, Char. I’ll miss you for the rest of my life.

So before I leave work for the weekend, just have to say….

Geaux Saints!!

Who Dat!? WE Dat!

(Just gotta say, I’m so fucking excited that the Saints are going to the Superbowl! I have avoided blogging about it, because I have been avoiding even thinking about it all week. I’m giddy with anticipation! I don’t know if I will be able to stand even watching the game – but I will. I believe!)

Can we just stop for a minute?

Just stop. Everything. I need a minute, just a minute, to cry my eyes out.

I’m so overwhelmed. Being a single parent is just really hard!  I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t know it would be so hard. Everything is on my shoulders, and I would just like 60 seconds to myself, completely to myself, so I can cry from the bottom of my soul, and hopefully feel better. I don’t see that happening.

We finally got moved, now we are so unorganized. I have tried to organize things, but with our stuff in storage,  in my car, and in the new place I find myself easily overwhelmed. When I get overwhelmed, I kind of begin the turn inward and eventually end up feeling turned inside out. If that makes any sense.

Yesterday, we decided to go ahead and let Pixie, our kitten, outside for a little while. She stayed close at first, then… she disappeared. N and I both cried last night – I cried mostly because he was crying, because he was worried about his kitty, and he missed her. I cried, because I let my son down. It’s my job to keep him safe, and to keep our animals safe, and I made a bad judgement call and in turn, I broke my sons heart. I keep telling him she will come back, but I really don’t know if she will. And I don’t really know how to handle that? My throat is burning so bad right now from trying to hold the flood gates closed. I’m close to my breaking point. I think this is what’s bothering me the most – knowing that my son’s heart is broken, and trying to ignore the fact that mine is, too.

I was on a phone interview this morning with a state office, trying to get some assistance, when the woman on the phone abruptly let me know that she would be denying my application for assistance. I sat there, in my car, with tears streaming down my face (but not actually, actively “crying”) while I told her I understand, and thank you. But the truth of the matter is, I DO NOT understand. I don’t understand how I don’t qualify. I get that I am over the maximum income level – but really! They use gross income (fat lotta good that gross amount does me!), and they count child support as income. I don’t understand that, and I feel shunned and abandoned.

Is it normal to feel this overwhelmed? How in the world, and when, do things finally start to come together? Will it always be this difficult? I’m so ready for better days.

Pixie, please come home.

I don’t write a whole lot, not as often as I’d like and certainly not with any regularity, so it’s understandable that I don’ t get a lot of comments. But I often wonder, who reads this crap? Does anyone read my blog? Today is National Delurking Day – so if you’re here, and you read these ramblings of mine, why not leave a comment? You know you want to.

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