Archive for July, 2010
living, loving & laughing: I am.
It’s Friday, and I’m happy. Just happy. Why? No real reason, nothing I can pinpoint (I may or may not be fibbing just a little). It feels good. Nothing is right in my life right now, but it all feels right. Everything seems to be moving in a direction that I can, for once, foresee it all falling into place. I’m not even really sure what I mean by that, but by God, I mean it!
I wish I could blog more. I sincerely wish I was more focused, and could pick a topic and write about it, but I am just way too random for that. My randomness is something I am learning to embrace – it can be annoying at times, I’m sure (for you, and for me). It’s also part of what makes me who I am. And with all of my flaws and issues, I am, I think, finally okay with just being me. I’m pleased that I’m not who I used to be. I know that on many levels, I have made progress personally and emotionally, and matured by leaps and bounds in the last few years. And I finally feel like it’s okay to say, I’m proud of myself. I survived things I never imagined I could survive. Things I didn’t want to survive. I’ve been to the bottom of the barrel and crawled out of it more times than I can count. I’m sure I will do it a few more times in this lifetime, too. At least now, I know I can. I am capable. I know now, that not only can I survive this life, but I can enjoy it, if I so choose to. And I do. I choose to not just survive it, but to live it, and love it, and laugh at it (or with it, but that’s all perspective).
In other random news, we survived my son’s 2 week stint at his father’s house. Which, he stayed with me during weekend in the middle, and didn’t want to go back until Wednesday, and came home early on the weekend, so… yeah. It was less than the planned 2 weeks, and that’s perfectly okay with me.
We are staying back at my moms, temporarily. We have already looked at a new place to rent, also, possibly, temporarily. Not gonna say too much now, but let’s just say that when I say “we” I mean, one more person other than just N and I. Yes, it’s a good thing. I’m moving my life forward. I’m ready. It’s time to live again, and love again, and laugh some more.
