Archive for December, 2009

Today is Christmas Eve. It’s a many splendor thing!

Actually, it’s bittersweet.

Preparing for a family fun filled evening with my family at my Grandma’s house, I can’t help but be reminded of the great man whose presence is so dearly missed every single day of the year, but especially today. Today, you see, is my grandparents anniversary.

My Grandpa passed away shortly after Hurricane Katrina, 4 years ago. Today would have been their 60th Wedding Anniversary. I sure do miss him. My Grandma misses him.

I’m looking forward to spending time with her this evening, what I’m not looking forward to is the moment that always happens since his passing, the moment when she looks around at her family with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes… when we all see, and know, that it’s him she is wishing was here to complete the picture.

Today is also my sweet Ashley’s 16th birthday… I’ve always loved her like she was my own. Happy Birthday Ashley, I love you!

Merry Christmas, everyone. Make it a joyful one.

Grateful to Half Past Kissin Time for Friday Fragments… gives me something to look forward to on Fridays and.. I’ve even caught myself holding onto moments thinking “this is perfect for Friday fragments!” … oh, lazy me.

• A favorite show my son and I enjoy together is Man vs. Wild – we simply cannot pull ourselves away from it if it’s on. And N has taken to looking it up On Demand and re-watching episodes we have already seen. He’s been a huge Bear Grylls fan from the first time he saw the show. So, you would think I would have seen this one coming, but I didn’t… N says, “Mom, in case you hadn’t considered it, Bear Grylls would be a really cool step-dad!” Oh, if it were only that easy honey-bunch! He was so serious. It was hard not to laugh… I guess he thinks if he has some input in the step-dad department he might be better off.  He might be right.

• N also mentioned that he never ever wants a step-dad unless it’s someone who is nice.  Like, really nice. To me, and to him. Oh, and if they have  kid, and they are nice, then he wants them. Just like <:insert my best friends name here:> -” he would be a great step-dad!” I am starting to feel like my son is trying to marry me off!

• After the 1st of the year, I will officially have health insurance again. I am very excited!! It’s been nearly 2 years without any, and I’m supposed to be on medication for my heart so I have been worried this entire time about that, which I’m sure didn’t help the condition. It seems silly to be excited as I am about health insurance, but it really makes life so much easier. Oh  wait, or is that the little peach pills they give me? ha. Kidding. Ok, not really. Moving on…

• I wish the troll on Twitter would just stop. It’s becoming harder and harder to not lash out at her, and I really don’t want to get involved like that. I wish she would just shut.her.F ‘ing.mouth.

• I have decided once again to break out the camera. I have been feeling the urge to take pictures, it’s overwhelming to me and I cannot fight it… I enjoy photography as much as sex!  Maybe that’s too much information, but for the record… I haven’t seen any action in either department in quite some time.  I say that like it’s a good thing. Anyway, so today I get to do a photo-shoot of my sister’s future niece’s. I’m so very excited. I hope I can sneak a few good ones of N in too, while I’m at it. He has become so anti-camera in his grouchy old age of 7 that I don’t even know what to do …. I suspect, I overdid it a little the first 4 years of his life and now he is just done with being photographed for the rest of his life. I hope I’m wrong. Maybe I should, er… I mean, maybe Santa should get him a digital camera for Christmas. Maybe, just maybe…

• Speaking of Christmas, I’m extremely disappointed that it’s going to be so tight for us this year. While switching jobs, I thought I was in the clear because I wouldn’t miss a payday… what I failed to realize was that the new company I am working for is on a different pay period, even though it’s the same payday. So, long story short, I am getting paid for 1 week instead of 2 weeks like I’d planned on. On top of that, the ex is 2 months behind on child support, which he says he will have one month for me on the 20th and the other on the 23rd. Not a lot of time to get Christmas shopping done once I get that – and that’s a big IF – if it’s on time, if it’s the full amount – but, I will do what I can I suppose. I had to call the power company and the phone company today to ask to defer my bills for a week so our shit doesn’t get cut off. I hate when things get to this point, and a part of me – a huge part of me – wants to scream at my ex for it and blame him. Granted, it’s not his fault, it must be F ‘ing nice to be able to pay all of your bills and think “oh, I’ll just pay that child support later on, whenever I get around to it, no big deal” asshat. It’s making me quite the Scrooge, because if nothing else I always want my son to have good Christmases, good memories… and I was hoping this one would be okay. And maybe it will. Hopefully. Because it’s our first one, just me and him. And I have a strong and urgent need for it to be a special one for him.

• My sister is pregnant! For the first time in my life, *I* get to be the aunt. I’m so, so incredibly excited I can hardly stand it! She’s due, we guesstimated, around the end of July. I’m hoping for twins (it’s possible) like there’s no tomorrow!! It’s really a wonderful, wonderful thing… she thought she couldn’t have children because of PCOS and here she is knocked up. Thank you Jesus!

It’s no secret, I am addicted to blogging (reading moreso than writing lately), and twitter, and well… everything pretty much online. I’m a nerd, I know. I have been learning to love Twitter. I didn’t “get it” at first, but I can see clearly now that it’s pretty awesome.

However this week, I’ve been disheartened by some cruel, insensitive people out there in the twit-o-sphere. I’m not naming names, because I am not looking for traffic or comments or anything of the sort. I’m just disgusted. Flat out disgusted.

A fellow twitter-mom lost her 2 year old son a few nights ago. He fell in the pool. She tweeted for prayers for her son. I personally see nothing wrong with that – with reaching out to your network for support. How is it any different than calling a friend and saying “please pray” and that friend calling other friends to pray for her son?? It was a quick, simple, effecient way to contact an entire network of people for prayers.

I don’t know this mom, but my heart is broken into a million pieces for her, and for her son, and the rest of her family. Other twitterers have all but crucified this mom for twittering after her son’s death, claiming it was a hoax, it was for attention, or to collect donations. I can see the skepticism in donating money so soon if you don’t personally know this mom, but I cannot for the life of me fathom how someone could openly, publicly accuse a mother of these horrific things. This is no time to air your opinions, or criticism, or doubt, or… well, anything really, other than sympathy. If you doubt the validity of said mother, then just wait and the truth will reveal itself…

I have no doubt, I didn’t from the minute I read her tweet and my heart hit the floor. All I could think of was wrapping my arms around my very own son, and telling him how much I love him and how important he is to me. I can’t imagine another mother feeling any other way than to be THANKFUL for what you have right in front of you, and for feeling devastated for a mother who will never again be able to hold, or hug, or read a book to her little boy… because he’s gone.

I know that when you put yourself “out there” on the internet, you’re subjecting yourself to be in this position (being attacked, criticized, slandered, etc.) at any given moment. But good God, why would anyone choose THIS moment in someone’s life to pounce?

For you attackers, I hope you can sleep at night. Lord knows I have spent the last few nights awake and apalled at your behavior and accusations.

It seems that this mom has a great network of friends, and for that I’m thankful. The last thing she needs to feel right now is guilt. Her son is gone. Forever gone. No amount of accusations to make her feel guilty for anything she did or did not do will change that.

Fellow twitter mom, you are in my prayers.

So many changes are going on in my life right now… and my nerves are shot!!

I start a new job tomorrow. One that I’m very thankful for – it’s a welcome, welcome change from the stress I have dealt with for so many months (although, I did love that job so very much). But, I’m a nervous wreck. I fully intended to be in bed hours ago, but I’m so wound up I can’t seem to keep still….

Nervous about the job. Nervous about managing the paycut. Excited about the health insurance. Excited about the schedule. Excited to be working with new people, outside of these tiny town limits.

Nervous about my car, too…. and surviving the next 2 weeks until I get paid, and the ex catches up on child support.

Oh, me, oh, my.

On another note….

I love, love, love my LaBREESiana Saints!! Oh, I believe…. Geaux Saints, all the way!!

On the twelth game of the season Coach Peyton gave to me 12 Romped Redskins, 11 Punked Patriots, 10 Battered Bucs, 9 Ragged Rams, 8 Pounced Panthers, 7 Dirty Birds, 6 Dunked Dolphins, 5 Shrunk-en Giants, 4 Wrecked Jets, 3 Beat up Bills, 2 Tame Eagles, and a Lion Sauce Picante! 12 N.O.**12 N.O.**12 N.O.**Heaux! Heaux! Heaux!

Who Dat!!