I just can’t do this. Not right now. I don’t know why, but I can’t find it in me to write…

So, a few random thoughts and facts:

• My divorce was final January 23rd
• I got a job, a decent one, and I work way too much now.
• I got involved with that boy that’s been hanging around since November, and he broke my heart.
• My feelings have been so hurt, so deeply, that I can barely function.
• I trusted him, like I haven’t trusted anyone in 10 years.
• I am a stupid, stupid girl.
• I got way behind in school, spending so much time with him.
• I was so, so happy.
• I lost 2 pant sizes since my last post.
• I can’t eat. I can’t force it down.
• I can’t sleep. I am too anxious, and nervous, and suffer terrible tension headaches.
• I haven’t tanned in forever.
• I can’t wait for the gym to open by my house so I can join.
• I got a new tattoo. An  “N” on my left wrist, and I love it. Treasure it. It’s my favorite.
• I am going to get another one very soon, maybe this weekend.
• I think I may already need another pair of jeans, maybe a size smaller.
• I love getting smaller. I don’t care that it’s stress causing it.
• I want to come out of my skin thinking of him being with her.
• oh yeah, I caught him with her.
• I flipped the F out. Seriously.
• I still have hope, and believe in love.
• I’m still a stupid girl.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySqz4USHA4Y]

2 Responses to “updates from a stupid girl”