Archive for December, 2008

Today’s conversation with N….

Me: I love you, baby.

N: I love you to mom. And listen, you can call me baby now but when I’m all grown up, can you not call me baby anymore? Because I won’t be one…

Me: *hmph* Well… I don’t care how old you are, or how grown up you are, you’ll always be my baby…

N: Ok look mom, just don’t embarass me with all that baby stuff. That’s all I’m tryin’ to say, alright?

Me: Okay. So can I call you sugar-booger instead?

N: Mom! I said do not embarrass me. You can’t say things like that in front of my friends at school. Do you understand?

Me: … but… but… you are my baby… and my sugar-booger…..

N: Okay mom, how about if you just call me those thing when it’s just me and you. If I let you do that, will you promise not to embarrass me when I’m a teenager in high school?

Me: *snicker* Why, certainly!

• A Generation Immersed in Media
• How to Blog Safely (About Work or Anything Else)
• THE DAILY MEME
• kate’s illuminated canvas
• “The Spite House” in Alexandria, Virginia

…because, I relate to everything via music. Music is such a part of who I am, that I rarely hear something that doesn’t instantly have meaning…

And, because this is his ring tone on my cell phone…

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A]

I’m not sure what to do. Should I pursue? Should I stay where I am (in my comfort zone) with him? Should I just go with the flow? How do I move on when he has my heart in his grip like he does? If nothing is going to come of this, then yeah, I want to move on. Find someone. Build a new life. But I don’t know how…

Is it possible that maybe, possibly, someone will come along and.. oh, I don’t know. What has my mind going like this? Possibly because, someone that I know that I could be interested in has asked me out. Possibly. I don’t feel like I am emotionally available. However, I said yes. Because I don’t want to be bound to someone that doesn’t want to be with me.

I’m rambling. I’m sorry. Everywhere I turn lately it seems someone is there, interested in me – it’s so insane. Is it because I am almost divorced? It’s strange. The thing is, it’s kind of nice. But then, it also scares the living shit out of me because as much as I want to move forward in this life and find someone, I just know I’m not there yet…

snagged from Charming & Delightful
This is dead on accurate… well, except the part about being patient…

(and I’m out of things to blog about – taking a quiet day)

Sorry for the double post, but HE JUST CALLED! Dennis.just.called.

Dennis and Me – 1993 – My Senior Prom

Two weeks, and I have been aching to hear his voice… oh, I’m so SO so happy right now I have tears rolling down my face. I almost didn’t answer the call, it was a strange number – but everytime I get a strange number in the last two weeks, I think “It could be him…” and it never is. Boy, am I glad I answered this call. I would have been so mad at myself if I had heard his voice on my voicemail!

When I answered he says, in his calm, casual way “Hey, what are you doin?” and I slapped my hand over my face (like I haven’t talked to him in ten years) and felt like someone knocked the wind out of me and in a barely audible voice said “Who is this?”

Me and Dennis – July, 2006 – @ a Friend’s Birthday Luau

He knows me so well. I miss that so much about him. He laughed at me and said “C’mon Heather, who do you THINK it is?” and that’s the point where I started blabbering like a fool about how much I’ve missed him and how GOOD it was to hear his voice. He continued to laugh at me a little, but he threw in just enough (“I miss you, too” and “What, did you think I wouldn’t call?”) little things like that, things that make him HIM to make me smile more than I have in the last two weeks. And cry just as much, too.

Dennis & Me – November 2008, a month ago – LSU/BAMA Game

He gets to have visitors next weekend, and could be home by Christmas. Oh, how I can’t wait to SEE him!!

There isn’t a man in this town that stands a chance with me after that phone call. Poor men. They have no clue my heart is taken.

My cup runneth over.

All I Want For Christmas