My visit with my sister was amazing! For a long while, we danced around the issues at hand and just caught up on what is going on in each others lives… It was so nice, and so easy to fall right back into that sisterly place of complete trust. I found myself just pouring things out to her that I hadn’t felt comfortable talking about to anyone else, and she was doing the same. We talked so much, it’s a wonder we even heard each other over our own voices. Eventually, we both dove in feet first and addressed our little spat months ago and as it turns out, it was a misunderstanding that just got out of hand. It feels so good to have put that behind us. It never ceases to amaze me at how easy it is for me to forgive my sisters. Of course, that’s probably because I am always the one trying to keep the peace… or as my middle sister put it, I’m “neutral ground”. My other, baby sister, is coming home in October, and I’m really hoping they can work on their relationship with each other… It does my soul good to be with both of them, and I miss that terribly. We always have such a good time  together, even if it’s just sitting on the porch… probably because all three of us are equally witty and sarcastic - believe me, there is never a dull moment when all three of us are together. We could take our act on the road lol (okay, not really - but it is quite a riot).

As for the rest of my  life - blah. I am so over it. I am ready for things to happen, and pissed off that I have to be patient and make those things happen. You know, that they won’t JUST HAPPEN. I realize full well that’s an unrealistic expectation, but hell, we can still dream can’t we?

My job. I do love my job, and I love the people at my job. However, I’m slowly beginning to realize that this job isn’t really the place for someone like me. Someone who wants to move out of her mother’s house, be independent, self-reliant, and have everything taken care of. No, this job is for someone who is in college, or fresh out of high school, who just needs a job. It’s been good to me, seeing as it’s my first “real job” in about 8 years, and for that I’m grateful. However, with the whole struggle of being switched from PRN to Full-time and the slap in the face that this would cost me an average of $3.00 per hour, I have already made the decision that this is not where I need to be, and I have to look elsewhere.

No sooner than I realized this, and discussed it with my dear friend S, she goes to work the very next day and discovers a brand new job posting. A job posting that very descriptively is exactly ME. Coincidence? I’m not sure. I’m thinking not. I will spend this weekend  making my resume shine so that I can apply for the job, and hopefully get it. It would do me well to do something I know I would love, get paid a salary, AND have benefits. I might actually start to feel all grown up and stuff. Oh, and it helps too that the job is Monday - Friday. Keep your fingers crossed for me on this one. This could be the one to help me make even bigger things happen in our lives.

As for school, I’ve gotten the first two courses and have taken one exam so far. I try to study at work, but this job is so demanding that it’s few and far between that I get to squeeze in a couple of chapters. I’m almost finished with the second lesson, and hopefully I can squeeze in that exam tonight at work. Although, with it being Friday night, and considering that I work in an Emergency Room, I  kind of doubt it. Maybe this weekend… I really want to get school behind me as soon as possible.

Another reason, one I haven’t mentioned, that I would really like this new job is that I just really miss N so much. His dad has really stepped up to the plate, and now keeps him on Wed, Thurs & Fri nights while I work. This, however, has left me feeling inadequate and unavailable. I don’t like it one bit. I don’t feel like this job is doing any GOOD as far as my relationship with my kid, but I am aware that I can’t just NOT work. So, I’m really hoping that this new job opening is meant for me.

P.S. - Holy F!! I just realized, I totally missed the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. Damn this job! Damn it to hell! I guess I will watch it online this weekend, since N is with his dad.

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