I haven’t written in awhile. I think I have writer’s block. It’s not that I don’t have things to write about, I am just having issues with articulating the words to form a story in order to type it out, so here I sit, just prepared to pound it out on the keyboard and write about SOMETHING.

The first thing that comes to mind is something that has been bothering me for a couple of days. Someone I know, whom I am not fond of by any stretch of the imagination, is hellbent on making me the bad guy and is planting doubt in the minds of people who know me in regard to my character. Mind you, most of these people he, we’ll call him SFM, is talking to about me are not necessarily people that I care to associate with anyway. So, what’s the trouble, you ask? The trouble is, I live in a small town, and people talk…

Before SFM entered my life via a friendship with his future ex-wife, nobody in this town knew my business. I don’t tell my business like that. My personal life (aka - MY divorce) is kept to myself. I don’t feel the need to air my dirty laundry all over town, and besides, I just don’t like to talk about it. Nor do I care to talk about anyone else’s dirty laundry (and just let me tell you, SFM has plenty of it, and if I ever took the back road instead of the high road I could most definitely and thoroughly embarrass him).

However, SFM, in an attempt to create false sense of character surrounding himself, has chosen to smear MY good character to anyone who will listen. He has fooled himself into thinking that I am the cause of his problems. Not his infedility, or his inability to tell the truth, or his stalker-ish tendancies… but me. I’m the source of all of his problems.

At the risk of sounding like I’m launching a smear campaign of my own (which I am not), he’s a little crazy, y’all.

So, what do you do when someone questions your character? Obviously, reacting to it will solve nothing. He would love a dramatic reaction. That was also my first instinct - to call him and chew him a new ass. However, I thought… what would THAT behavior say about my character? He has me questioning my own character…. This really bothers me.

I think, at the end of the day… maybe it’s not a bad thing that SFM has caused me to take a good look in the mirror… If anything good can come of this, I think it will be me coming out of it all a better person. I don’t want to be the person he paints me to be, so I will keep a close eye on me to be sure that nothing I say or do could possibly be construed as a character flaw and cause him to seem “right” about me…

So, while it still bothers me, and I wish I could talk to all of these people he is enjoying poisoning against me to let them know that really, destroying him is not at the top of my list, I will refrain. And I will say, thanks SFM, for helping me work on becoming a better person.

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