Archive for August, 2008

Gustav

New Orleans, Chartres Street looking towards C...

Gustav is pissing me off. Seriously.

Looks like he is coming to Louisiana to kick our ass. Not really anything we can do, but it still pisses me off. I don’t want to see New Orleans in despair again… it’s way too close to home. Close enough to call home.

N is terrified of Hurricanes. I have no choice but to evacuate. I wouldn’t force him to go through that. But, the parish president is talking of a mandatory evacuation for our parish.

Trying to find a hotel now, and make reservations. The hassle and stress of all of this is really getting to me.

Especially that I have to do it alone.

I have always done it all alone, but the aloneness of this responsibility is a resounding echo in my soul right now. It makes me angry, and makes me feel lost and panicked all at the same time.

Maybe we can just make a vacation out of it, and have fun, regardless.

But for now, I have to get to work… and help deal with everyone that is going to have chest pain (I’m sure) due to the impending hurricane that is heading straight for us. Especially the ones who lost everything from Katrina, and are just starting to get back on their feet.

I don’t blame them. I get how they feel. I feel it right along with them, and may end up with chest pain myself if this doesn’t end soon…

My Guilty Pleasure

The American country singer/guitarist Taylor S...Image via Wikipedia

I bought the Taylor Swift CD.

I rarely, if ever, buy CD’s… but I bought this one. And I love it. I sing every lyric to every song at the top of my lungs while driving in my car. I rarely hear the radio anymore.

I’ve discovered, through my guilty pleasure, that my life as of late is a random series of Taylor Swift song lyrics… Let me demonstrate…

Just a boy in a Chevy truck
That had a tendency of gettin’ stuck
On backroads at night
And I was right there beside him all summer long
And then the time we woke up to find that summer gone

September saw a month of tears
And thankin’ God that you weren’t here
To see me like that
But in a box beneath my bed
Is a letter that you never read
From three summers back
It’s hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet

State the obvious, I didn’t get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy
That’s fine I’ll tell mine you’re gay
And by the way…

I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You’re a redneck heartbreak
Who’s really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I’m concerned you’re
Just another picture to burn

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart
He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do
He’s the time taken up, but there’s never enough
And he’s all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see.

Well, I was sixteen when suddenly
I wasn’t that little girl you used to see
But your eyes still shined like pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
They never believed we’d really fall in love
And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
And said oh my my my…

I’ll be eighty-seven; you’ll be eighty-nine
I’ll still look at you like the stars that shine
In the sky, oh my my my…

I’m only up when you’re not down.
Don’t wanna fly if you’re still on the ground.
It’s like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I’m only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I’m only me when I’m with you.

Everything I need is right here by my side.
And I know everything about you
I don’t wanna live without you.

links for 2008-08-25

Character? Anyone?

I haven’t written in awhile. I think I have writer’s block. It’s not that I don’t have things to write about, I am just having issues with articulating the words to form a story in order to type it out, so here I sit, just prepared to pound it out on the keyboard and write about SOMETHING.

The first thing that comes to mind is something that has been bothering me for a couple of days. Someone I know, whom I am not fond of by any stretch of the imagination, is hellbent on making me the bad guy and is planting doubt in the minds of people who know me in regard to my character. Mind you, most of these people he, we’ll call him SFM, is talking to about me are not necessarily people that I care to associate with anyway. So, what’s the trouble, you ask? The trouble is, I live in a small town, and people talk…

Before SFM entered my life via a friendship with his future ex-wife, nobody in this town knew my business. I don’t tell my business like that. My personal life (aka – MY divorce) is kept to myself. I don’t feel the need to air my dirty laundry all over town, and besides, I just don’t like to talk about it. Nor do I care to talk about anyone else’s dirty laundry (and just let me tell you, SFM has plenty of it, and if I ever took the back road instead of the high road I could most definitely and thoroughly embarrass him).

However, SFM, in an attempt to create false sense of character surrounding himself, has chosen to smear MY good character to anyone who will listen. He has fooled himself into thinking that I am the cause of his problems. Not his infedility, or his inability to tell the truth, or his stalker-ish tendancies… but me. I’m the source of all of his problems.

At the risk of sounding like I’m launching a smear campaign of my own (which I am not), he’s a little crazy, y’all.

So, what do you do when someone questions your character? Obviously, reacting to it will solve nothing. He would love a dramatic reaction. That was also my first instinct – to call him and chew him a new ass. However, I thought… what would THAT behavior say about my character? He has me questioning my own character…. This really bothers me.

I think, at the end of the day… maybe it’s not a bad thing that SFM has caused me to take a good look in the mirror… If anything good can come of this, I think it will be me coming out of it all a better person. I don’t want to be the person he paints me to be, so I will keep a close eye on me to be sure that nothing I say or do could possibly be construed as a character flaw and cause him to seem “right” about me…

So, while it still bothers me, and I wish I could talk to all of these people he is enjoying poisoning against me to let them know that really, destroying him is not at the top of my list, I will refrain. And I will say, thanks SFM, for helping me work on becoming a better person.

My Favorite Quotes

A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, and it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking. — Helen Steiner Rice

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