Archive for May, 2008

This might be my first “People Piss Me Off” post. Can’t believe it took this long!!

Let me just say something first… IF you happen to be effin lucky enough to be my myspace friend, and I delete you – suck it up. You had to know it wouldn’t last long, because I probably never really liked you that much anyway. HOWEVER… if you are my *&%*&^*&% family and you think I have deleted you from my “Myspace Friends” list – try this: ASK ME!!!

My day just took a drastic turn south when I checked my myspace email. When I saw the subject line of “deleted?” I thought – what? Wonder what this is about…

I never should have opened that *&%*&^*&% email, because A) it hurt my feelings and B) it made me cry. Both of those things suck, and in turn just really pissed me off.

It wasn’t a simple “Hey, what’s up? Why did you delete me? Or did you? Maybe myspace is stupid and whacky and something crazy just happened and you didn’t delete me – let me know. …” Ya know, something simple, something civil.

Oh no. Not in my life, you can bet your ass on that! It was an absolute “Slit Your Throat” approach that attacked me on every level. For something that I did not do (I didn’t delete this person, btw – I honestly never even look at my friends list TO delete anyone, because I just DON’T CARE that much), I was laid into from everything about my relationship with this person, to my parenting, to the things I need to do to see what’s wrong with ME and why I am not happy with myself…  oh  and several times it was pointed out that I’m a hypocrite…

Nice. Thank you!

My background music just changed.

I’m so *&%*&^*&% tired of being attacked lately, it’s just not even amusing anymore. I don’t get involved in people’s business, I keep their secrets, I treasure them individually, yet I always end up being the bad guy. I’m sick of it. I’ve had my fill.

I wish I had a place I could go to where I could just SCREAM really loud and no one could hear me.

This is such crap.

I’m over it. I’m a good person. I don’t mistreat people. I’ve had my say, and I’m moving on… it’s all bullshit anyway.

I am not sure why, who ever really is? But today the music is this … and it’s nice. Always been one of my favorite songs, and bands, so I’ll keep this one on for awhile… it makes me smile.

photo credit: squacco

That is exactly what the last couple of days have been like. Strange. I can’t really think of another word that is more fitting… I’ve had fun, I’ve been impressed, someone has been nice to me, and the best part of it all is I was just being me, not expecting anything. Just me. And someone liked that.  What?  Yeah.  I’m saving that story for me. I might share with you another day, but not today. I kind of like it, and I’m not ready to share. However, for future reference, we’ll refer to this person who was nice to me as “T”.

However, there were some funny moments that were definitely worth writing home about.  Namely yesterday, when I was naively summoned by T’s mother. I am not sure what I thought was going to happen, but as it turns out there was an Inquisition and let’s just say, it was not an opportunity for me to ask questions. It was partially funny, really… but I think it left a scar.

I think… oh hell. I am done thinking for today. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I’ve been throwing up since 5:30am, have been in bed with cold sweats, and I don’t want to think. Especially about the last few days… well, except for the good parts. I’ll think about those, and revisit this later.

it’s like background music.. it’s in my head, all the time. I always hear music. Today it sounds like this.  I don’t know why … that doesn’t make sense, I know. Especially if you aren’t the type of person that has a life soundtrack playing 24/7 in your mind (like I do).

Do you hear it? Do you hear your own? What is it?